Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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