i don't like sucking hair
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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