I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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