All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
