im about as happy as oj after his trial
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Randomize
