You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
