Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
