32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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