I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
