The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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