i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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