I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize