It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
