I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
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He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
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And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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