Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
