so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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