i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
it hurts more in the daytime
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
