I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
i need some magic done to my vagina
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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