I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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