TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I AM VODKA MAN
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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