Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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