friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize