I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
