the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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