oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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