So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
