I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
