did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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