Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
