the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
