i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
