The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
