I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
