Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
even my farts smell like vagina
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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