I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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