Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
you would pick up someone in the library
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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