The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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