If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
