it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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