you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Randomize
