Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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