she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
