It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
