exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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