i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
