Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
