I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
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The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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