Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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