There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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