So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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