OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
