Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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