An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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