i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
