I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
