Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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