He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
