I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize