the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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