the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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