he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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