I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
